Atal Santa, Lakki Banta and Gorge Fadnavis were sitting with long faces. There was yet another train accident. But the curious thing was that this time news channels were there on the spot even before the accident occurred. A breathless reporter had explained to frightened viewers how the train will derail and how many were expected to succumb to injuries. Everyone in the room agreed this was gross misuse of journalistic freedom. “I will ask Sushmaji to look into this. It is against our culture. There must be some provision in Anti-Obscenity Law.” Banta assured Santaji. There was a knock on the door and the group saw an unconvincing looking Sheepish Kumar making an entry. He was returning from an overnight inspection of Patna railway station. He looked around the room and took the chair gingerly, not knowing which – the room or the chair – was about to fall off.

“Sheepishji, We are getting lot of bad publicity this year.” “I know, I know sir, but we have managed to reduce deaths this time” he explained sheepishly. Banta intervened with full vigour. “Sheepishji, number of dead is not a problem. So many died in Gujarat – but we won. You know why, because not one of them died accidentally. Not in the train – not in the street. So many die of malnutrition, still we win. Soldiers die in wars – but we win. Pilots die in MIG 21.” “Those are not accidents,” Fadnavis intervened helpfully. Sheepishji shuffled a bit. He did not really relish his ministry to be compared with that of his bete- noire.

Santa’s tender sensibilities found the talk of death quite repelling. He managed to wave aside Banta’s rantings, “Sheepishji, I would like your clarification on the issue.” “Sir, let me begin by clarifying that I am not going to resign. Last time I resigned after Gaisal tragedy everyone said it was political stunt. I am not going to do that now. It is a question of my credibility. My financiers will be in jeopardy.” “OK, I agree”, Santa’s seasoned political instincts told him that lamb was not yet ready for sacrifice.

“Sir, first of all this impression of high numbers of train accidents is a big propaganda of my opponents in Bihar. I have figures with me. In my tenure there has been a big fall in train accidents. In fact none of these can be called an accident. I have already declared that these are acts of sabotage and preventing them is the responsibility of state governments.”

Santaji was exasperated. “Sheepishji, a train meets an accident every third day. Public is interested in its safety – not in statistics. There is panic. And you know there are big holes in your figures. What actions are we taking – I don’t want these accidents to be talked about”. “Sir, I am working very hard on it. I am getting recommendations of parliamentary committee and Justice Khanna committee’s report bound and displayed in my office. There will be a workshop on railway safety. All media persons, experts, employees, unions and officers will take part. Food will be nice. If you assure me something from general budget, I can try for an annual junket abroad exclusively for media persons. I am also calling a meeting of contractors, mafia dons and criminals and bureaucrats to impress upon them the need for railway safety. Every station master will organise a havan for warding off evil effects of Rahu kaal.”

Banta, who prided himself for being the iron man suggested, “What about fixing responsibility of employees.” Sheepsihji was dying for someone to broach the issue. He had more statistics on this “Sir, I am responsible for lot of employment. In Bihar I gave employment to 3000 last year. We are opening a National Railway Safety Institute, a Safety Institute National Railway and a Railway Safety Institute National in my constituency. This will generate more employment.”

Fadnavis whispered something into Banta’s ears. Sheepishji caught all this from the corner of his eyes and prayed. “I have heard some big corruption is going on in the railways. Some people are demanding a CBI probe.” Sheepishji was pushed to the wall. He flared up. He stood up. It was no longer an issue of inefficiency or dereliction of duty or even criminal negligence which could be shrugged off. It was a personal attack on him. “I am a man of honour. I can’t take these insults any longer. I do everything in the interest of the party. It is all there in the NDA agenda. In keeping with highest traditions of NDA government. I am resigning forthwith.”

Santaji sensed the proceedings were getting haywire. The lamb could not be allowed to claim martyrdom. He wrapped up the meeting declaring, “I decline to accept Sheepishji’s resignation. Cabinet has full faith in him. He will continue to work very very hard in times to come.”

— Girish Ghildiyal